Thursday, April 22, 2010

A Corporate Cricket Match!


As far as this correspondent could remember, reported this correspondent of our companys house magazine, there has been no like of this cricket match. It will, she continued, go down in the annals of our sporting life as a landmark.

The magazine published a multicoloured photograph of our MD
magnificent hook shot’ and went on to describe his innings as consisting of mighty foursfull-blooded strokes’ and several cheeky singles – all adding to a total of seventeen runs. 

The credit for incepting this annual cricket match goes to Mr. Bakwaswala, the Divisional Head of our sales department, when he was Assistant Sales Manager - as a mark of respect to our last British Managing Director, in his name. It was alleged by his critics that he owed his present position in the company more to his ability to discuss squash and handicaps in golf with his former English bosses rather than any worthwhile contributions to the organisation.

The teams for the match usually consisted of wily executives ‘oozing cologne, cockiness and confidence’ – as the pert copy of a magazine advertisement describes – who knewhow to bowl to MDs. But the crunch came when the greenhorn apprentice who just joined the company, was inducted into one of the teams. He was just out of the university and had been his univ
’s strike bowler.

Not knowing the rules of the corporate world of make-believe, he had been bowling good line and length. His first ball – a short pitched one – nearly dislodged the MD’s spectacles without which, the ball and the moon looked equidistant to him. Not that the match was played in moonlight!

The myopic managing director peered uncertainly at the skies. Keeping his tubby frame erect, he opened the face of his bat and hooked the ball. Then, pirouetting on his axis, he placed the ball plumb on the fine leg boundary – or so he thought – and with his bat still raised, looked around expectantly for the applause. But only a stunned silence greeted him.

The first to recover from the embarrassing situation was the umpire, the head of the Customer Service Section. Hesitating only for a moment, he called a ‘no ball’, keeping in view his impending grade promotion, and once again upholding the eternal truth that if a Caesar could do no wrong, much less a managing director could be bowled out.

Taking his cue, the commentator – the brand manager with the staccato voice, stilted English and a phoney British accent – regained his speech and roared that that was a 
magnificent hook shot’ repeating it six times in three sentences hoping that it would enter the MD’s ears at least once – as it was believed that the MD was short of hearing.

The commentary was for the players – as there were no spectators for the match and broadcast over a loud speaker. It served the same purpose as the performance appraisals conducted for our executives once in a while. The performance appraisals, by the way were introduced after Newsweek published the format of (the then) president of the US, Carter's evaluation of his executives.

All would have been well, except … … … the greenhorn apprentice’s second ball – the ball preceding the stunned silence and the cause for it – ripped the bales and knocked the MD
’s middle stump cart-wheeling it six yards away.
...................................................................................................................................................................
This spoof was written by a GLAXOINDIAN for THE CITY TAB, a Bangalore tabloid, and was published in its issue dated October 19 – 25, 1986.  It was reproduced by some Blogsites in recent times.

A Three Minute Management Course!

SOME OLD LESSONS …
Retold By D. Rama Mohan Rao
LESSON 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.  Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel."  After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.  The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.  When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"

Friday, April 9, 2010

Mr. D. R. NATHAN


Friday, April 9,2010.
Mr. K. Gopal wrote:

I just heard the sad news that Mr.Nathan passed away at 11 a.m. I understand from Ramesh, his son, that the end was peaceful. The cremation is likely to be tomorrow morning.

Address: 'Akshaya'
             79, Second Main Road, VGP Layout, Palawakkam, Chennai - 600041.
             Tel.No. 24511546  ( Mobile number of Ramesh: +919840391953)


Saturday, April 10,2010.
Mr. C. Jagadishan wrote:

Dear Friends,

VERY SAD NEWS ALAS!

We are extremely pained to hear the sad news that our very dear Mr. D. R. Nathan passed away at 11 10a.m. I gather   from Shri. K. Gopal that the end was peaceful. The cremation is likely to be tomorrow morning. I understand from Ramesh, his son, that the end was peaceful. The cremation is likely to be tomorrow morning, the 10th April 10.

When I communicated this to Mr. K. S. Ramanathan at his Coimbatore res, he condoled and said, that two people in Madras branch will always be remembered for their singular contributions: 1. Dr.R. Krishnaswamy & 2.Mr.D.R.Nathan.

I entirely agree with him and so will all who knew both of these wonderful human beings!!

May we all join the family in praying for Mr. Nathan's soul to rest in peace!! Amen!!

Yours in sorrow,

C. Jagadishan

Mr. Jagadishan's condolence note to Badri & Ramesh, Mr. Nathan's sons
Very dear Badri / zamesh,                                                                                
10/4/10


Your father was an exceptionally compassionate, empathetic,caring, and most lovable person with extra-ordinary sense of humour and great presence of mind!

Shri. DRN & Dr. R. Krishnaswami were two individuals who made significant and substantial contributions to Glaxo in South of India! Both will be ever remembered for their singular and noteworthy contributions! Both had a knack of keeping others all the time smiling, forget their grief/sorrow, give them warmth, love and affection all the time! Both were great teachers in their own right! I and many others have greatly learnt quite a few things from both of them!

May their soul rest in peace!

May the Good lord give your dear Mother Smt. Padma Nathan and you both and all other family members the strength and fortitude to bear this irreparable loss!

Yours in sorrow,

Jagdishan. C